Pending Cohabiting

I will catch a flight later this evening to see the S.O. for the weekend. Between canoodling sessions I'm sure there will be some “where is this going…what are our plans” discussion.

I can’t remember, did I tell you this? S.O. figured that he’ll move to my city since I love it so much and my family is here. This is great news for me, however I’m keeping an open mind because that’s a long time and who knows what kinds of things and opportunities might pop up. S.O. moving here is a huge step so I want to make sure we take advantage of the time we have before he gets here (we estimate 12 to 16 months, job/housing market, you know the drill) to prepare emotionally and financially.

My head was swirling with questions however there is really only one that keeps popping up: Rent or buy? Home ownership is very important to the S.O. and he’s more inclined to buy. My first inclination is that we rent together for the first year he is here for the following advantages:

  • By then we would have been in a long-distance relationship for 2 years, but never really LIVED together. This would be an opportunity to see how it goes without the financial commitment of a mortgage if the relationship ends.

  • The money he’d make from the sale of his house would sit in the bank for year earning interest.

  • We can move if we don't like the area/house after a year.

  • No headache of how to go about buying a home as an unmarried couple.

The disadvantages?

  • If things go great, after a year or so we’d have to move again, incurring more cost and moving drama.

  • Losing out on equity by renting. (Not a biggie to me, personally, but the S.O. brought this up).

  • Renting would cost me more than buying. Why? Because the necessities would be split by percentage of income (57/43) if we rent. However if the S.O. buys (because he’s the one that wants to own a home and would be providing the cash for down payment) the split would be 70/30 with the S.O. on the high end. Why? Because his name would be on the papers. He’d get the equity. He’d also get the drama of upgrades, repairs, etc. My 30% would be what I would pay in rent and utilities if I had an apt. on my own. Both splits seem fair to me, but renting would significantly decrease the amount I could save.

So yeah, that’s what’s rolling through my mind these days. Living together is a long way off, however we could use the time we have now to save as much as we can and think about our goals as a couple.

I’m frightened and euphoric as the same time. :)